Many argue that as bizarre and odd as our dreams may seem, our dreams are actually unconscious processes which are not dissimilar to the way we think about the things that concern us when we are awake.”īut why are these dreams so strange? And why can they leave us feeling unsettled in the morning? Matthew says: “The difference is that when we dream, the parts of the brain responsible for our rational thinking are switched off and activity in the emotional centres of our brain can increase by up to 30% more than in waking life, which explains why dreams can have a profound effect on our feelings.”Īubyn de Lisle, a psychotherapist based in Market Harborough, also agrees that when it comes to dreams, our rational side becomes clouded by the intense power of our feelings. Indeed, there is a lot of evidence from neuroscientists who study our sleeping and dreaming to support this. “The main reason for this is that dreams are our body-mind’s way of processing and integrating the emotional events that affect us. Sometimes these dreams can occur for several months, even years,” says Matthew Bowes, a psychotherapist from Brighton. “Dreaming about a deceased loved one when someone close to us has died is very common. We spoke to several psychotherapists and dream analysts to find out how dreams play a part in the grief process, and what it might mean when we have an unsettling dream about our deceased loved one. But it’s not uncommon that while we’re trying to move forward, our loved ones to appear to us in a dream, sometimes years after their passing and often when we least expect it. In between organising affairs and choosing a memorial headstone, we’re trying to process the loss and find a way to live with the grief.
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